Not Again

In My Progress by TanyaLeave a Comment

Tanya's Dad RFLCancer sucks. My dad’s cancer is back in the liver.  Not “as bad” as last time but it’s still back which means more chemo.  I’m so angry at this disease!!!  

I don’t know much yet.  He starts chemo in a couple weeks.  I know he will beat it just like last time but I’m sad that his first months of retirement will be spent sick from chemo.

This time will be different for me.  When he was first diagnosed back in 2007, I was out of control with my weight and eating, and I didn’t know how to handle one more thing.  I feel like I am more equipped to handle it now.  I can share my struggles with my friends and family and ask for help coping with it.  

I will not use food as a crutch this time.  It didn’t fix anything in the past, and it won’t fix anything now.  My first response to upsetting news is “I need a cheeseburger.”  BUT I DON’T.  I wish I could understand how to stop myself from having that reaction, but there it is.  It’s out there.  Does anyone else do this??   The good thing is that I am more aware of it now, and I won’t let myself off the hook, at least not for long.  If I slip up, it’s okay.  But I don’t keep slipping up.  No matter how many times I fall down, I will keep getting back up and fighting!

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