I’ve decided to change my weight goal for WW. I’ve been struggling with this decision since November, and I have finally decided enough is enough. I’ve been wanting to apply for a part-time job working for WW so that I can help others hit their weight loss goals too! Well, you have to be a Lifetime Member in order to apply. Did you know that as a lifetime member, you can also attend meetings for free? In order to become a lifetime member, you need to reach your goal weight and maintain it (within 2 pounds) for 6 weeks. You pick your goal weight from the acceptable weight ranges provided by WW. I’ve been within my weight range since December. I’ve been paying for 3 months when I technically I could have been lifetime by now, if my goal weight was higher.
While I would still like to hit the milestone of 100 pounds, I have also realized that 90 pounds is a pretty great milestone too! I would never tell a friend that 90 pounds wasn’t good enough. I would never tell a friend that going down 8 sizes wasn’t good enough. I would never tell a friend that changing your goal means you are failing. I would never consider a weight loss of 90 pounds by someone else a failure. I would never tell a friend that they were less inspirational and/or letting me down by not reaching their original goal. I would never tell a friend that the number on the scale is more important than being healthy. So why have I been telling all these things to myself? We are so hard on ourselves, aren’t we?
My new goal is 155 which will be a total loss of 90.8 pounds. My original goal was 145 pounds which would have been a loss of 100.8 pounds, but life doesn’t always go according to plan. I picked my original goal at the beginning of my journey from a sheet of paper because it seemed to make logical sense. 145 is in the middle of my healthy weight range, so I thought that would be appropriate. 130 seems way too low for my built, and I didn’t want to be at the “high” end of my range (160) because I wanted wiggle room. I was also inspired by another WW member who lost 100 pounds, and I just really felt like that was a milestone I wanted to hit! I wanted to be that celebrity in the meeting room who had a triple digit weight loss!
My wise WW leader (LOVE HER!) and many of my friends were there to ask me the tough questions. Why was I so obsessed with the NUMBER? What does the number mean anyway? The real questions should be if I feel happy with my clothing size, if I feel healthy, if I feel I can maintain this weight, etc. etc. They pointed out the obvious fact that I’ve done pretty darn good this past year and a half. Everyone is different…that’s why the healthy weight range is a RANGE. There is no one perfect number for everyone.
I was getting so frustrated that I wasn’t losing weight even though I was working out so much. I joined the gym over the winter and was trying all different types of activities and really challenging myself. But I still wasn’t losing like I wanted to. I have been up and down with the same few pounds for months now. Maybe it’s a plateau, but I hate that word because it just seems like an excuse to me. Maybe all my working out and toning is building muscle. Maybe instead of losing weight I am to the point of replacing fat with muscle. Maybe my body is just trying to tell me that it is comfortable at this weight. Maybe I was so darn worried about it that I was sabotaging myself. Maybe my discomfort with switching plans was causing me to slip into more emotional eating and that was the real issue on the scale. At this point, the WHY doesn’t matter anymore.
I decided one day during a good session of lifting weights (and feeling pretty strong and tough!) that I was not willing to give up any exercise or toning activities for a number on the scale. Yes, I want to be thin, but more than that I want to be athletic and strong. I don’t want to be stick thin with no shape. If that means a few extra pounds on the scale, well then so what!
Now, why was that so hard? It seems to make such rational sense now. I’m not letting anyone down. I’ve still helped lots of people. I’m not a failure. I still lost 90 pounds. During this time of not losing weight, I realized I could wear some size 6 pants. (Insert choir singing Hallelujah!) Come on, really?! Did I ever think in my wildest dreams that I would be able to do that? Not so much! And because I was so obsessed with the number, I didn’t even celebrate that HUGE non-scale victory the way I should have. Sure, I told a few friends and was kinda excited, but not like I should have been. How could I go from a size 20 to a size 6 and still be unsatisfied?! Thank you, unrealistic expectation setter! I have totally changed my lifestyle. I’m a runner. I love kickboxing and strength training. I’m not giving up with this new goal! I’m finally realizing how to set REALISTIC goals that fit for ME and not for some IDEA of me. I’ve come a long way baby!
I’m about five pounds from goal (thanks to my bad week last week). I’m hoping to hit my 155 mark in the next couple weeks, and then I get to learn how to maintain. It’s scary and exciting at the same time, but I am ready! Wish me luck!