I was in a really good place last night. I went to a WW meeting. I had lost weight and was excited to update my progress jar. I had an on-plan dinner out at a restaurant, and I got my grocery shopping mostly done.
I was feeling great about being productive, but I was TIRED. I didn’t get much sleep the night before. After weight watchers, dinner, shopping, taking the trash out, and putting the groceries away, I was pooped. I didn’t even sit down until 9:30. I was going to watch one TV show and go to bed. In retrospect, I should have gone straight to bed.
I started out with good intentions. I made myself a single serving snack bag of popcorn and also grabbed some grapes. I was perfectly satisfied with that snack and not at all hungry.
So WHY did I get up off the couch to get more food?! Normally the fact that I had to get up and go get something else would make me think twice and I’d usually talk myself out of it. I don’t know where my resolve was, but it was nowhere to be found.
I got up and grabbed the box of Special K Popcorn Chips. These are a decent choice (3 points+) in moderation, but I didn’t measure out a serving. I just grabbed the box. The box probably had 2-3 servings left, and I polished it off in no time. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I topped that off with half a box of cookies and milk. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What is wrong with me? I even told myself that I didn’t need it but then I told myself I didn’t care and ate it anyway. That old mindset came creeping back in, and it was like I was thinking that I might as well enjoy something else since I was already off track. That is absolutely the worst way to look at it, and I KNOW it!
I’m so annoyed at myself! Did I just blow all my hard work from last week? Will I gain back the 1.2 pounds I lost? Is it even possible for me to work out enough to make up for it? SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
What’s even more aggrvating is that we JUST talked about it in the meeting last night. I even shared the analogy I use to help me: “If you stumble on one step, do you throw yourself down the flight of stairs?” Of course you don’t…but that’s kinda what I did last night. My leader talked about just moving on and asking “What is the next good choice I can make?” For me, that is starting over today. Today I can make the right choices. Today I can stay in control of my eating. Today I can track like a boss.
The trick now is letting it go. It happened. It’s over. I can’t change it. Beating myself up about it will only make it worse. I just want to learn from it so that I can prevent it in the future.
I honestly don’t know what triggered it last night other than being over tired. I do NOT make the best decisions when I’m tired. I know this. I just need to put something in place so that there is no decision making when I’m tired. At one point when I was struggling, I put a rule in place that there was no eating after 9pm and I went to bed at 10pm. It might be time for that rule to be enforced again.
The thing that I want you to learn from this is that no one is perfect, and that’s OKAY! Some may look at me and think I’ve got this all figured out and that I am a role model. I do feel like I have a great handle on things, but just not 100% of the time. Even people who do well most of the time have moments they are not proud of.
This journey is never over. We will always have to make choices about what we eat and how we choose to cope with things or comfort ourselves. It gets easier with time. These things happen less often now, but it still happens. How do you bounce back when you feel like you’ve slipped? What is your advice to someone who is still struggling to bounce back?